Do you ever just have one of those conversations with a friend that completely fill up your soul? Like you leave with a boost of self-confidence, feeling completely seen and understood?
Audrey and I had a few hours of that kind of sweet, sweet fellowship with the great Nina Kim this weekend. I’ve known Nina since freshman year of highschool (going on 7 years, woah), and we have more in common than one might think. We’ve always had long, drawn out conversations about life, and lately, they’ve been about “making it” in the big world.
A little backstory on Nina: she spent the summer interning at a production company in LA. She has a passion for film, and more specifically, a calling to bring minorities and their stories to the big screen. She’s just really made it happen for herself lately; she went from having no connections and being miserable at Belmont to transferring to Michigan U’s film program and going to Cannes Film Fest and now networking with some of Hollywood’s most powerful figures in not much more than a year. Because she’s a badass creative with astonishing drive, she’s been making major strides in her field and it’s freaking cool to watch.
My sister Audrey is beginning her college career this semester and is now getting much more serious about her music passion. She lives and breathes it. The girl has an insane musical ear, an incredible ability to harmonize with anything, and can accompany herself like nobody’s business on piano and guitar. She’s written deeply moving songs, and is working her way up to releasing her music and performing live.
I’m a graphic design major. I have done a lot of learning/changing myself over the past couple of years. I’ve dealt with clients who ran me through the ringer and took advantage of me, people who have undervalued me as an artist and as a person. I’ve had to learn hard lessons about being my own boss. But through it all, my passion for design and photography has remained, which I think is affirmation that I’m on the right path.
So though our three passions are very different, we are all creatives, striving to work in a world where very few take these passions seriously as careers. We’re all art students. And if we had a dime for every time we got a pity look from somebody’s mom or a chastising lecture from a family friend who “is just looking out for us,” we certainly wouldn’t be starving artists.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so blessed to have an arsenal full of supportive people backing me. Especially within these four walls, which is way more than many can say. I’ve always been encouraged to utilize my God-given talents and follow my dreams, no “back-up plan” necessary. But for every supporter, there’s at least one dissenting voice. And whether it’s out of love or judgement, the effect is the same. Trust me, I understand the weight of picking a future of uncertainty. I know most people think the “smarter” option is to choose something stable, with a paycheck you can count on. That totally makes sense. But I value a life of passion over a life of stability. And so do Audrey and Nina.
Over our lattes, we talked about all sorts of things relating to our lives as college students. We’re the rising generation. I mean, how the heck do we make it out there and stay true to ourselves along the way? We obviously don’t have the answer to that one… I don’t think there is a one-size-fits-all solution, but we’re all uncovering it in our own situations. Here are a few things all three of us have learned so far and have to constantly remind ourselves:
-Always lift up those around you, and if you can help people out with your experience, DO IT. Nina taught me about the Shine Theory. Basically, if you shine, we all shine. We all craved guidance when we were uncertain, so if any part of your story could help someone else, you should help a sista out.
-Never equate money with success, because the instant you do, your passion dies. Period. This is one of the most important bullets on this list.
-There’s no rush on “making it”… besides the fact that “making it” looks different for different people (depending on how you define success), we’re in it for the long haul. Life won’t start once you are set in your career. Life is happening now, sis. Don’t miss it!! This is one I have to remind myself every. Single. Day.
-In that same vein, don’t compare yourself to others in your age group. This is also a hard one. Just because Joe Shmoe was making a phat salary by 21, or had his first song cut at 18, or whatever it is, it’s not YOUR STORY and shouldn’t be a MILEMARKER or a MEASURE of success. It reflects on you exactly 0%. Do your own thang.
-God has blessed us with unique talents. You’ll catch yourself thinking “wow, I wish I could do it like that.” But each of us have our wheelhouse, our niche, our style, and we need every flavor!! This is why everyone can work in their creative field… everyone offers something a little different. So don’t add more reverb just because it’s trendy or enclose the logo in a circle. That would be boring and expected. Stand out from the crowd, dude.
-Value yourself. Really. Value your time, money, and talent. Just because you’re young or don’t have a degree yet or have a limited portfolio doesn’t mean anything. There will always be someone better, someone worse, someone who will do it cheaper, someone who will charge more, etc. There will always be someone trying to take advantage of you. Stand strong. All you can do is look out for yourself and try not to get trampled on in this big crazy world.
-It’s gonna take hard work. It’s gonna be scary. You can’t sit and wait for fame or success or WHATEVER to come find you. Harness that ambition. Bottle that passion. Jump off the cliff, send the resume, introduce yourself to the big wig, etc. The best things come from taking the leap. (Trust me, preaching to myself on all of these but especially this one because my middle name is ComfortZone.)
-Nobody knows what’s going on. Even when they look like they have it together. Get out there, act like you know what you’re doing, learn from yourself, learn from others, and take no BS.
So there you go. Those are some highlights from our conversation. And I know for a fact we don’t have it all figured out, and never will. But it’s nice to talk through common experiences and life goals with people who really get it. I’m feeling empowered, and I hope y’all are, too.
{{ Now get out there and show these chicks some love and support, because they’re gonna do great things and you’re gonna wanna see it. Instagram: @ninakimpossible @audrey_hollywood }}